♥ i fake a smile , a laugh everyday of my life .

sorry for not posting ,
common test left 10moreday D:
12aug , after national day .
got to study real hard for this tym.
ytd after quarrel with dad ,
around 7+ , wait for my both sister back .
done all our stuff , then out with family
to watch movies , "money no enough 2 "
quit funny & sad uhs .
after watching , went for dinner .
mum go work & we headed home .

--
& sorry people for not sharing my feeling to you .
actually i had a bad mood nowadays and idk why .
many thing happend around me ,
& i cant understand why ,
i really cant believe in true friendship anymore .
if you wanna hate me then carry on ?
dont come near me , & i don need ur concern.
i don need ur lying , ijusthateyou.
sometime i think things too easily ,
just that i really cant even understand myself what i want .
just have a quarrel with dad ytd he don even trust me &
don even understand my feeling at all .
yah , my result is worst then my both sister i know .
but did you think i wan ? if i don even study ,
i'll get U for all subject .
but did i ? somemore say what ,
you don even seeing me studying from sec one to now ?
when i'm study what're you doing ? sleeping ?
what i do , ue wont be happy .
what you want ?! i really cant stand anymore.
sometime i feel that i don belong to this home/world .
sometime i feel like dying . sometime , i keep quit & let ue scold because i respect you .
but end up what the fuck you giving me ?
why don you just dump me away , leave me alone on the road .
i just wan to be happy , but i don think i can now .
tell me what you wan ? study well for exam ?
not i wan to fail also , if i fail , i'm sad either .
people parent don even do this to their child .
but if you do it because you care fot me ? ; i know you are good to me .
but i don think i can face all those thing that ue do to me .
i'm just nothing to you )':
i don think i can happy , laughing , smiling again like last tym .
how i wish i can suffer from memory loss , & forgot everything .